Mirrored with permission from Outpost Nine and Azrael

Another Picture's Worth

I have a broken collarbone. I don't feel like writing too much. So here's some more pretty pictures.

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For all those who didn't believe me about the ass-medicine (suppositories) in the last post, these are the instructions I got for them.

And even if you don't read Japanese, I'm sure the illustration paints a clear enough picture for you.

I've had quite a few people tell me that this kind of medicine isn't all that uncommon in some European countries, and in some ways works better than orally ingested medicine. And I've had some people call me an ignorant American who treats his asshole like some sort of Holy Ground that shall never be desicrated, ever.

...Thank you for finally understanding.

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How about some Hard Gay merchandise?

I found this in an Amusement Center in Osaka. Why *just* light your cigarette, when you could fuckin' light that sumbitch FOOOOOOOOO!

I'm not going to even get into the rammifications of an arcade game, where the prize is a cigarette lighter decorated with Mr. Hard Gay, located in an amusement center where children come to play games. ...Welcome to Japan.

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From Yutaka, a chain drug store in Japan....

Apparently in Japan, Pac Man has grown a body, but unforutnately gained a rather nasty addiction to prescription drugs. Watch as he shovels them into his mouth as if they were pellets.

I suppose as a logo image though, it does the trick. If that doesn't tell you "DRUGS ARE HERE", then I don't know what will. And if there's anybody I want to get drugs from, it's Japanese Pac Man. ...Clearly, he knows his stuff.

Speaking of interesting advertising images....

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This is from a brand of, *ahem*, large-sized condoms in Japan...

...OH MY GOD, IT'S A HORSE! A horse on the cover of a package of large-sized condoms. Boy, they certainly got straight to the point there. What I wouldn't give to have been able to sit in on that corporate meeting...

Company President: Ok, we need an image for our box cover...something that grabs people's attention...
Executive: Hmm...well, horses have large penises. Why not use a horse?
President: That's...brilliance!

I can't be the only one who finds this hilarious. I've decided I need to buy these condoms at least once before I leave, for the sole purpose of seeing how the cashier reacts when me of all people strolls up to her register, with a box of large condoms, with a horse on the box cover. ...Seriously, you can't make this shit up.

A while back, there was a brand of doggy litter or doggy bags or something that, for the cover...had a cute 'lil doggy pointing his anus at you. I swear I'm not making this up. I tried to find it again, but they must have changed the image since then. It wasn't art either, it was an actual picture of a dog from behind, with his head turned to look at you as his tail was raised and his anus was exposed. It was like he was going to shoot it at you or something...

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UPDATE - I checked my email after having posted this article, and found a surprise - someone found the doggy bag as interesting as I did, and had the good sense to take a picture of it! Thanks to Trevor B. for the contribution...

There's really nothing I can say here that can add to the magnificence of this picture.

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Aside from having found it in Kyoto, this really has nothing to do with Japan. I just thought it was awesome.

Have a very Merry Christmas. ...Or else.

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Anyone who's been to Kyoto for any length of time knows of the bookstore Maruzen. It sat along the main thoroughfare, and was fairly large, spanning 8 floors. You could find almost any book you were looking for in there, and it was popular among Gaijin for having a *good* selection of foreign books in English! Aside from books, they also had stationary, watches, some clothes, and assorted other goods.

Maruzen closed down recently, much to my regret. As I was walking down the street where it used to be, I found this.

It's a poster for the new karaoke place that will go up there next spring. ...Maybe this wouldn't bother me so much if there weren't already *five* karaoke places within 100 meters of that very spot. At least that I know of, there are probably more tucked away in little corners I'm not aware of.

Only in Japan would a great and magnificent bookstore give away to yet another place with watered down drinks and off-key singing.

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My new favorite t-shirt.

One of my friends: We should buy this shirt and mail it to your ex...but then write on the bottom "Oops, too late."

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Sometimes in class, we do English songs. The students get a worksheet with the lyrics, and some of the words have been blanked out. The students have to listen carefully and fill in the blanked-out word. This was on one such worksheet...

At a first glance, it looks like a feisty boxing girl. ...But let's take a closer look, shall we?

Notice that boxing girl has NO HAIR, save for a single off-center ponytail. Her right eye is 1.5 times bigger than her left, and one of her eyebrows is encroaching up into where her hairline would have been were she not a cue-ball. She's also displaying what is mostly a frown, but takes a slight upwards curve towards the end. Does this mean she's 85% unhappy, 15% happy? Perhaps she's come to beat the shit out of the hairstylist that did that to her, and part of her is really going to enjoy it.

You may also notice by looking at her left hand, that it isn't a boxing glove after all. So apparently she's just got some deformed bulb-hands or something. She's got...something...sticking out of her from behind...what the fuck is that? A handle? A knife? Stink-lines? Also, her shoes are about 2 sizes too big. And for the coup de grace, take a look around her posterior area...she's got a tail!

This is one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen in my life. Who came up with this shit? And decided to inflict it on little children? This is what shouldn't be around kids. Scare the shit out of them. "Do your homework Tanaka-kun, or else Bug-Eye Bulb-Hand Boxing Girl will come after you..."

UPDATE - Since posting this article, I got about 1.3 billion emails about how the thing on her back is actually a guitar case. ...Okay, I see that *now*. My brain wasn't filling in the other half of the object.

It's still a really weird fuckin' picture.

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I've gotten request after request for this, so finally I've just decided to give in. Here's a picture of Ms. Americanized.

...Not quite what you were expecting, was it? ^_^ For the new school year at the Ghetto School, the PTA put out some sort of introduction booklet. The opening section had an introduction to the school's teachers. Instead of using pictures though, it was decided to let the school's art club draw pictures of everyone. That was what they came up with for Ms. Americanized. Cute, huh? ...She really does have freckles.

Here's Ms. Forehead.

And here's me.

Aw, aint I cute?

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