Mirrored with permission from Outpost Nine and Azrael

Respect Mah Authority

I absolutely love my Americanized teacher. Working with her is so fun. Once we were performing a scene out of the textbook..."Mark" compliments "Demi" on a nice costume and a job well done in some performance, or whatever. "Oh, did you like it?" My teacher asks in accordance with the script. I decided to deviate a bit. "No, it was the worst." I said. Most of the kids got this and laughed, and my teacher came over and gave me a nice swat on the head for my creativity. I actually did see this one coming, not like the smack she gave that one boy, which I still don't think I ever actually saw happen it moved so fast.

So she she has us reverse the roles. "Oh, did you like it?" I ask in accordance with the script. "No! It sucked!" She excitedly exclaimed. Most of the kids just blinked at her in confusion, so then she took a time out to explain a new English grammar point - "That sucks!" Complete with the "Repeat after me - That sucks!" drill. I couldn't believe she actually taught them "That sucks!" And now my ichinensei at the ghetto school will occasionally run around saying "Ah! Thatto sukkusu!"

This past week, we went to class early to just hang out a bit before the students came. The lesson we were about to do was this really stupid puppet play. Actually, hearing the kids do it is kind of cute...but the "professional" version on the CD is nothing short of annoying. I wonder what kind of sick and twisted hatrid the Japanese government has for English teachers to send them such a horrible thing. Anyway, we were talking about it, and I said "Man I hate those puppets. Just shut up already!" She nodded in agreement and said "Yeah, really. Shut the hell up, you son of a bitch! Motherfucking puppet, shut up."

After the five or so minutes it took for me to recover from "Motherfucking puppet", I told her I still wasn't used to her liberal swearing. She then said "You know, I didn't actually learn how to swear until I started watching South Park." ...Wow. That's awesome on so many levels I can't even begin to comprehend it. I told her you could find the movie dubbed in Japanese and she was very interested in that. If you ever come across the Japanese dub of the South Park movie, I highly recommend picking it up, if only for the "Terenssu anddo Ferippu" version of "Unkuru Fakaa!"

One day when the kids are being noisy, I'm going to have her slam on a desk and scream "Respect mah authority!"

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