Mirrored with permission from Outpost Nine and Azrael

A Desperate Struggle

Friday at the ghetto school.

I had just finished an ichinensei class with the "Big-Headed Boyfriend" teacher. I was talking to a boy near the front, when another boy entered the room from the rear, and started walking towards the front. "Hello!" I casually said to him.

He said nothing in response. He did nothing except keep walking forward. And suddenly, my Kancho Sense™ started BLARING. Sure enough, without one word he simply walked behind me and started trying to kancho. This actually freaked me out a bit, this kid was a mindless, soulless, kancho assassin. That was some freaky shit. Thanks to my trusted Sense, I was able to reach behind me and successfully grab his hand.

...But! The boy I was talking to in front of me decided that now would be a *great* opportunity to grab my dick. Thankfully, my Dodgedick Sense™ went off as well, so I was able to grab his hand in time. But now both my hands were tied, while each boy still had a free hand with which to try and grab my dick AND poke me up the ass.

I have a bad feeling about this.

With both my hands occupied I had to do some serious dancing to avoid getting grabbed/poked. I was on some Michael Flatley Lord of the Dodgedick shit, you'd probably have to tape me and play the tape in slow motion to capture the true speed at which my crotch/ass region was moving. I realized though that I wouldn' t be able to keep this up forever, and at some point I'd have to think of a way out of this. To make matters worse (worse?!) though, a third boy appeared from out of *nowhere* (more Japanese teleportation?) and started going for whatever was open. So OK, let's review. I've got the Kancho Drone to my rear, Dick Grabber #23 on point, and Random Kid on assist, forming a perfect Triangle Molest Offense. Both my hands were tied, but I still had 4 free hands going for stuff. I was getting rushed down like an Asian girl at an anime convention. I realized at this point, this is the most dangerous situation I've ever been in.

I suddenly had a Wachowski brothers moment - everything went bullet time (Kancho Time?) on me, as the world slowed almost to a halt, giving me time to think up my next move. My first idea was to just Gaijin Smash my way out, but as I had that thought I also had the classic internal moral argument, which surfaced itself in Looney Tunes form, of the white angel/red devil versions of myself talking to me on my shoulder.

Devil Az: Gaijin Smash! em straight to hell. It's the only way.
Angel Az: ...You can't do that! You're like three times their size.
Devil Az: Great, that'll make it easy.
Angel Az: But, they're only 12-year old boys! They don't know any better.
Devil Az: They're 12 year old boys trying to grab your dick and poke you in the ass. All bets are off.

Anyway, the Angel won (he always does....*grumble*) and I had to think of a new plan. Still working on Kancho Time, I let go of the two boys hands, and with my right hand guarding the front and the left for the rear, I started to manually parry the attacks. I used my eyes for the front, and relied on Kancho Sense™ to help me with the back. Spotting an opening, I broke the Triangle Molest Offense and managed to back myself into a corner, literally saving my ass. I now parried the frontal attacks with both hands, but I wouldn't be able to keep this up for long either.

Just out of curiousity, I looked up to see what the other teacher was doing. She calmly packed away her things at the front and casually talked with some of the girl students, seemingly oblivious to what was going on. Take a moment to think about that, if you will. In a classroom you've got a large black man cornered by three Japanese boys trying to shove fingers up his ass and grab him by the dick, while the teacher, less than 5 meters away, casually talks with the girl students about TV or something. ...That's just how it is here.

Back to the action. I managed to grab two boys by the arm, then pulled them inside to act in tandem as a shield against themselves and the third boy. With both of them thrown off their game, I managed to force them down to the floor (with only one arm per boy, at the same time!) and on their stomachs. I dropped to my knees and roared "IT'S MY TURN NOW!" The boys suddenly developed beastly strength, as they broke free from my hold and got the hell out of dodge. I don't even think they ran away, just *paf* *gone*. Frayed, I took a moment to collect myself, then returned to the teacher. She finished her conversation with the girls, looked up at me, and said "Oh, the boys seem to enjoy playing with you very much."

.....Yeah. One might say that.

That was definitely the most dangerous situation I've ever encountered. I had three boys going for both fronts, but somehow I STILL got out of it un-molested. I realized then that I had ascended to some sort of Anti-Kancho/Dodgedick Ninja Mastery. With my Kancho Sense™ and now Kancho Time abilities, I am The One who will bring down the system.

Bring it bitches, I'm ready for ya.

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